Ok Fam…it’s official! I have adopted the Trail Blazers Podcast as my new Must-Check-out-Podcast. Yes…it’s done! I’ll likely reference one of Stephan A. Hart’s interviews fairly regularly from here on out. Just finish reading this then click the link from the article, or go directly to http://tbpod.com/ to see what I mean! Leave a comment and let me know what you got from the interview so we can share notes!
This week, I was driving down Hwy 20 (Atlanta, GA) listening to an interview Stephen did with Craig The Barber. Many of you may know Craig The Barber as a contributor to Men’s Health Magazine and http://TheMensRoom.com, as well as his work with Paul Mitchell Schools and Diddy’s annual 4th of July “White Party.” You can listen to the interview at http://tbpod.com/craigthebarber/ FYI: that’s a trademarked name, I just haven’t figured out how to enter that little symbol to indicate such. Don’t worry, I’ll get it…
Nonetheless, I loved the insight and overall vibration this brother shared through his story. I’m sure you know that we, at RaisingBlackMillionaires.com, are huge on discovering and sharing practical tools for #RaisingBlackMillionaires. So, let’s dive into a couple of great ones shared by Mr. Craig The Barber!
Tip 1: Empower Your Children With Resourcefulness vs. Handicapping Them With Gifts
I love this one soooooo much! Craig said that when he was in the 9th grade, he noticed the attention he received from the ladies and was inspired to never be caught set-trippin with his hair game. (That was a little throw-back colloquialism for my 80’s babies). I understood him, because I was one of those girls who would say, “you need a hair cut!” and just clown a brother in front of his friends when he appeared to be a good week past any signs of a lining and several days past a fade but still tried to mac like it wasn’t so.
Nevertheless, Craig’s parents had his haircuts scheduled for every 3 or 4 weeks. That was simply not enough for a young man whose appearance had to be maintained to the highest standards to keep the keen eye of the high school woman. Apparently, he proposed getting weekly cuts to his father and was politely instructed that if he wanted to have weekly cuts, “Here is a set of clippers, make it happen, Son.”
This is brilliant, because, his father could have told him, “No, it’s not in the budget.” Many of us would have and currently use that as a regularly rotating phrase with our children. Or, he could have just kept it simple and said, “No.” Instead, he encouraged his son’s pursuit of excellence by not saying “no.” Then, he taught him the value of creating the conditions and environment that would enable him to maintain his self-determined standard of excellence, independent of anyone else.
I need you to sit in that for a minute……
That felt good coming from my thoughts, through my fingers, to the screen, back to my eyes.
Craig The Barber’s father didn’t just give him the extra $5 or $10 dollars each week to get his desired weekly cut. He didn’t even negotiate with him a set number of extra chores or encourage him to perform a side-hustle to generate the funds to pay for his weekly cut. He gave him access to the tools for him to manifest his own vision of what it looked like to have a weekly cut. But that’s not all.
Tip #2: When difficulty arises, put your child in the environment to figure out the solution. Don’t just bail him/her out!
Craig The Barber went on to discuss how horrific that first cut was. You must listen to him tell the story, because you’ll get the visual of just how hilariously dreadful that first cut must have been!
Craig, I’m not laughing at you, Brother. This is good stuff!
But anyway, his father took him back to the barbershop to rectify the cut, but the barber had enough love, selflessness, and patience to teach him what he’d done wrong and how to correct it. From there, he began to refine his newfound craft.
How awesome was that of the barber? Additionally, how awesome was it of the father to place his son in the hands of someone who would tutor him and aid him in the development of a skill that he was able to use to: 1) meet his goal of manifesting his ideal self-image; 2) develop patience with himself as he worked through learning how to perfect something that he was initially horrible at; 3) generate his very own income, which would teach him the value of creating something out of nothing as a teenager, an innate quality that many adults die without ever experiencing; and 4) identify a gift that would serve as a launching pad for him to exercise a natural gift to serve others, develop branch-off products and services, and gain fulfillment for the rest of his life.
As you listen to the interview, I’d like for you to consider the above words and then think about times you may have just handed over to your children whatever they requested of you, no matter how big or small. Then consider times when you may have just flat-out rejected their requests. I know I’ve done both this week….like yesterday! Then ask yourself, “Was there potentially an opportunity in any of those times to empower my child with some of the tools Craig The Barber’s dad gave to him that could plant a seed to completely change the trajectory of his or her life?”
There’s a bunch more that was shared in that interview, but the above was so rich, I won’t overwhelm you. Let’s just say, we’ll revisit that conversation at a later time. In the meantime, listen to the podcast (http://tbpod.com/craigthebarber/) and let me know what you think by leaving a comment below! This discussion is going to be so good that I can’t wait!