The Power of Demonstrated Behavior

I read an article Tiya Cunningham-Sumter did for BlackandMarriedWithKids.com where she talked about the importance of demonstrating to children what healthy marriage looks like through our own examples. If you’d like to check it out, the title is How Early is Too Early to Teach Your Children About Marriage? Here’s the link https://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2016/03/how-early-is-too-early-to-teach-your-children-about-marriage/#.VvlQApXmrmQ Be sure to leave a comment and let her know I shared the article with you.

Getting back to the point, her emphasis on the greater effect our examples have on our children than our words, reminded me of my interview with Dr. George C. Fraser. Throughout our talk, Dr. Fraser gave plenty of hair-raising statements of profound parenting advise on #RaisingBlackMillionaires. But one that seems like a no-brainer yet is often either overlooked or unrealized is, “Your children aren’t paying attention to what you say. Their paying attention to what you do.” For those of us who were raised on the “Do what I say, not what I do” mantra, this may be a challenge to come to grips with; but you know it’s true. So the natural question from the above declaration is, “How is that and marriage relevant to the concept of #RaisingBlackMillionaires?” Great question! Please, allow me to explain.

When I first started this effort of exploring the parenting practices of Black millionaires (versus that of thousandaires–HA!), I was completely new and had AB-SO-LUTE-LY no idea what I was doing. My personal money management and wealth building practices left much to be desired so the natural progression was that I didn’t have anything of value to pass on to my children to insure they’d be set upon the right financial course of abundance and freedom. But, when I prioritized learning different concepts, in bite-size proportions, and simply sharing them through allowing them to see me practice them, I noticed a visible cognizance about financial practices among my children through the types of questions they’d ask. This was awesome, because it meant that they were thinking about money as a tool that could take many different forms and the different ways to make it compound for them versus the traditional aspirations of waiting to become teenagers to get a job and afford the latest Play Station and Jordans.

The other equally valuable point of the demonstration piece that Ms. Tiya highlighted is the concept of marriage. Dr. Dennis Kimbro, in his book The Wealth Choice: Success Secrets of Black Millionaires, beautifully sheds light on the fact that the millionaires he interviewed were married and had been married for a long time. Dr. Fraser explained how essential the marriage piece is in the whole wealth-building aspect of family in the How To Raise Your Black Child To Be A Millionaire audiobook, coming really really soon! But for those who are not married, the concept of demonstrating proper male and female relationships in a way that is protective for the individuals and their respective finances is also key. So you see, this is a fundamental concept that can be immediately implemented whether you, as the parent, are single or married.

A topic like this is difficult to thoroughly cover in just one 500 word article, but it is definitely worth exploring and delving more deeply into in future articles and forthcoming materials. As a general resource, I’d love to point out the https://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/ website for married couples. They offer an outstanding library of resources for developing and maintaining healthy relationships among married couples. Additionally, visiting Alfred Edmond, Jr.’s and his wife Zara Green’s site, http://grownzone.com/ will provide some resourceful tools for healthy relationships for singles and protective practices for their money while dating. I’m certain you’ll find wonderful tips that you can use and be confident in your children seeing you demonstrate and later duplicate at both sites.

Let me know your thoughts by leaving a comment below! What healthy practices have you shown your children or witnessed others sharing with their children while #RaisingBlackMillionaires?